Faka'ofa

I finally got pictures posted from my kayaking trip in December. So click Photo Album on the right and take a look.

Putus (funerals) are awkward events to attend. I never quite know how to act considering cultural differences, so I’ve decided my gut instinct is the best route. This putu was different than any I’ve attended before. I actually knew the person and I was involved in all the aspects of the 3 day event. Faka'ofa is what you say when something is really sad. You can say it as a way of giving condolences or just to express your grief.

A little 3 year old girl named Ana passed away from Pneumonia. She was a sweet little angel and her family was devastated, as I’m sure you could imagine. She passed away on Tuesday and due to intense rain the putu was delayed to Thursday. I’ve tried to describe the magnitude of these events before, but it compares to nothing I can relate to in the States. I’ll go ahead and detail some of the activities I participated in, but keep the picture of a see-through plastic bag full of chicken, root crop, boiled eggs, and lamb in your mind because that accompanies every part of the grieving/remembrance process. Although grieving is definitely part of a putu, there is also much laughing and joy that surround the three day event.
Thursday:
I found out the putu would be held in the volleyball field directly outside my house. I thought okay – no sleep for three nights. I went to the tent where all the woman were helping with the food. We sliced over 1000 loaves of bread (no exaggeration). I was in the line of spreading a mixture of butter and jam onto these 1000 loaves. Tedious, but the socializing was nice. I then went to the hospital around 6 PM in a caravan of cars to accompany the body home. As we passed by a cousin’s home all the sisters stood outside crying, holding a sign that said, “We miss you Ana. See you in heaven.” That is when I lost it. I wore my black clothes, my ta’ovala (large mat around my waist) and headed off to the funeral. People from all over the island bring mats, tapa, material and bread to donate to the family. They enter the home and place the donations next to the body, kiss the body then exit the home. They proceed to the food tents. That is where I worked with other youth in my village. I served the bags of food, cleaned dishes, served tea, cleaned tables, and prepared more bags for the people that continue to come over the course of the whole night. I think this is the hardest labor I have done in Tonga and I was whipped. I skipped out early (being totally exhausted) and hit my pillow with a crash. I was thinking that I wouldn’t be able to sleep because of all the people and the singing that continues until the morning. But once my eyes closed, they did not open until the morning.
Friday:
Burial in the early morning hours was followed by singing, singing, and more vocal reverberation. I delicious bag of chicken, lamb, and other tasty delights came afterwards. I was then able to catch up on a little sleep.
Saturday:
All the material and gifts that were presented to the family were then separated and redistributed to the community at a formal ceremony. The family has first dibs on what they would like to keep. Woman elders in the community sit in lines while piles of clothes are brought out for distribution. I sat in the back and ate the candies they handed out. I received a tapa cloth and a piece of material for being supportive during the funeral. The siblings were marched into the tent area and a certain family member cut pieces of their hair. This is then braided to make the rope that holds up the mat worn around at funerals. This ceremony was then followed by more food. Families sometimes go into huge debts because they need to feed the populous.
The men drink kava for the duration of the three days. Actually they have continued drinking. I don’t understand how these people’s bodies can handle it all.

All things considered I’m still in a really good mood these days. The weather is hot, but the evenings are getting cool. Rugby seasons starts soon and Okoa is putting together their team. My shower has been acting kind of crazy, but thanks to Jason and Cathy’s solar shower I’m still clean.
The packages have been excellent and I feel like a queen.
Thanks for everything.

Love,
Adrianne